Some lessons I learnt this year.
What happened to my blogger? I need to revive it.
Sometimes I laugh until my stomach hurts and my cheeks feel like i've been blowing up balloons all day. Laughing is such an immense happiness, sometimes after I've had those cheek straining, stomach paining laughs, I feel sad that I might never laugh like that again. I soon forget that though, because this year has made me realise that the most important thing to do is to: remember the past but not regret it, think about the future but not wish your life away and live your life in the only way you can. FULL OF AWESOMENESS. If you follow those rules, you'll be doing what you want to be doing, making it more of a fun life right?
This year has also taught me (metaphorically), carrying a ring around, waiting for your future spouse, even if they don't show up, does pay off. You never know what's going to come out of the blue and hit you on the head.
We're contingent on others, especially our families, but even if we don't know it, we're contingent mainly on ourselves.
Your perspective on how someone views you, is wrong.
The people that have cute faces, are the dirtiest.
There's nothing worse than missed opportunities, don't strive to get them back.
Horny dogs in the bedroom are a no no.
Everyone treats the same situation differently. Some laugh, some cry and some just get on.
After you've declared that you think you love someone, there's always a bit of them with you, but I can guarantee you it's not love.
Change is good, but not everyone likes change.
There are still people that are extremely ignorant to today's society and it's awful.
Sometimes I laugh until my stomach hurts and my cheeks feel like i've been blowing up balloons all day. Laughing is such an immense happiness, sometimes after I've had those cheek straining, stomach paining laughs, I feel sad that I might never laugh like that again. I soon forget that though, because this year has made me realise that the most important thing to do is to: remember the past but not regret it, think about the future but not wish your life away and live your life in the only way you can. FULL OF AWESOMENESS. If you follow those rules, you'll be doing what you want to be doing, making it more of a fun life right?
This year has also taught me (metaphorically), carrying a ring around, waiting for your future spouse, even if they don't show up, does pay off. You never know what's going to come out of the blue and hit you on the head.
We're contingent on others, especially our families, but even if we don't know it, we're contingent mainly on ourselves.
Your perspective on how someone views you, is wrong.
The people that have cute faces, are the dirtiest.
There's nothing worse than missed opportunities, don't strive to get them back.
Horny dogs in the bedroom are a no no.
Everyone treats the same situation differently. Some laugh, some cry and some just get on.
After you've declared that you think you love someone, there's always a bit of them with you, but I can guarantee you it's not love.
Change is good, but not everyone likes change.
There are still people that are extremely ignorant to today's society and it's awful.
Meep.
Today, I told my mum I smoked. Scary shizzle.
So I was walking up to school having a fag, I look up and my stepdad is in the car next to me wagging his finger... it's kinda busy so he can't stop.
I do my music revision and I go home, expecting to see him. However my mum was in, so I told her before he did.
I asked her if she was dissapointed, she said she wasn't... she just thought I was wise enough to know not to smoke. It was quite a big thing for me :/ it's quite scary.
So I was walking up to school having a fag, I look up and my stepdad is in the car next to me wagging his finger... it's kinda busy so he can't stop.
I do my music revision and I go home, expecting to see him. However my mum was in, so I told her before he did.
I asked her if she was dissapointed, she said she wasn't... she just thought I was wise enough to know not to smoke. It was quite a big thing for me :/ it's quite scary.
Don't let me fall.
I still feel like I should own you. I don't want anyone else to have you.
Anyway, so yeah... I waited hmm... lets see? at least 4 years for some sort of experience.
It finally came.
After waiting for all these years, it finally came and it was the biggest mistake I've made in a long time. I hope I can still love in the future, it's so unfair. Anyway, there's no good feeling sorry for myself, is there?. I've written a new song which is really fun to play... it's about a person(A) that's fucking with someone elses(B) heart... kinda deep. Half inspired by Lauryn Hill and Nneka. My songs are usually about the music, but this is about the words. I'm kind of embarased to show you all the lyrics, so I'll show you some of them... but that's all.
Your judgemental voice to my repression
Your words of fire, burn my expression
My expression to your possessions, you don’t own anything
Abrasion, heart deterioration, my loyal heart, against your evasion.
My deterioration helping my persuasion, for you to help me save you.
Sorry if this is kinda boring, I'm just rambling...
'Your judgemental voice to my repression
Your words of fire, burn my expression'
By this I mean, how despite the fact that A is judging B, or hurting them... B will try and exclude his desires for A.
'My expression to your possessions, you don’t own anything'
Okay, this next line is pretty straightforward, I'm just saying that A doesn't own anything, especially person B, person B looks at A's possessions and sees nothing, this is reflected in his 'nothing' expression.
(mental)Abrasion, heart deterioration, my loyal heart, against your evasion.
Abrasion = cuts/scrapes = deterioration of the heart ;) loyal heart as in, I won't give up on you, no matter what you choose to say to B, or how horrible A is. Your evasion = A trying to avoid B.
The last bit is easy, hope you enjoyed my REALLY boring song analysis, I have nothing better to do at 1 in the morning.
Anyway, so yeah... I waited hmm... lets see? at least 4 years for some sort of experience.
It finally came.
After waiting for all these years, it finally came and it was the biggest mistake I've made in a long time. I hope I can still love in the future, it's so unfair. Anyway, there's no good feeling sorry for myself, is there?. I've written a new song which is really fun to play... it's about a person(A) that's fucking with someone elses(B) heart... kinda deep. Half inspired by Lauryn Hill and Nneka. My songs are usually about the music, but this is about the words. I'm kind of embarased to show you all the lyrics, so I'll show you some of them... but that's all.
Your judgemental voice to my repression
Your words of fire, burn my expression
My expression to your possessions, you don’t own anything
Abrasion, heart deterioration, my loyal heart, against your evasion.
My deterioration helping my persuasion, for you to help me save you.
Sorry if this is kinda boring, I'm just rambling...
'Your judgemental voice to my repression
Your words of fire, burn my expression'
By this I mean, how despite the fact that A is judging B, or hurting them... B will try and exclude his desires for A.
'My expression to your possessions, you don’t own anything'
Okay, this next line is pretty straightforward, I'm just saying that A doesn't own anything, especially person B, person B looks at A's possessions and sees nothing, this is reflected in his 'nothing' expression.
(mental)Abrasion, heart deterioration, my loyal heart, against your evasion.
Abrasion = cuts/scrapes = deterioration of the heart ;) loyal heart as in, I won't give up on you, no matter what you choose to say to B, or how horrible A is. Your evasion = A trying to avoid B.
The last bit is easy, hope you enjoyed my REALLY boring song analysis, I have nothing better to do at 1 in the morning.
Straight in to my arms.
I can't help but feel it only happened because it wasn't meant to.
'you gave ___ _____ you fucking faggot, its people like you that ruin this world and make the straight kids feel sick....'
I blanked out some stuff, even though everyone knows... I don't really want to shout it out. Somebody told me this anonymously through formspring... It really hurt actually :/
First of all I got the 'fucking faggot' bit, that would have been hurtful enough. But no, it's people like me that ruin this world... Oh well.
People make mistakes right? I didn't make a mistake, I made the right choice. I took what I'd been waiting for and it made me happy. I don't know why I got formspring I mean... I get loads of loving comments, but when I get a nasty one it just makes me think. But it seems I've started a mini revolution for gay teen boys, maybe they're doing it to be cool like me and Helen ;) whatever it is, it makes me happy. Please don't hate me for me doing something natural though, okay?
You know when people say to bisexual people or gay people that are inexperienced, they say "You don't know what you are yet, you haven't tried the same sex" let me tell you now, if a boy falls in love with a boy, a girl falls in love with a girl... it's natural... you don't have to lick vagina or suck dick all the time, when it comes down to it... it really is what's inside that counts. Do what I do.
'you gave ___ _____ you fucking faggot, its people like you that ruin this world and make the straight kids feel sick....'
I blanked out some stuff, even though everyone knows... I don't really want to shout it out. Somebody told me this anonymously through formspring... It really hurt actually :/
First of all I got the 'fucking faggot' bit, that would have been hurtful enough. But no, it's people like me that ruin this world... Oh well.
People make mistakes right? I didn't make a mistake, I made the right choice. I took what I'd been waiting for and it made me happy. I don't know why I got formspring I mean... I get loads of loving comments, but when I get a nasty one it just makes me think. But it seems I've started a mini revolution for gay teen boys, maybe they're doing it to be cool like me and Helen ;) whatever it is, it makes me happy. Please don't hate me for me doing something natural though, okay?
You know when people say to bisexual people or gay people that are inexperienced, they say "You don't know what you are yet, you haven't tried the same sex" let me tell you now, if a boy falls in love with a boy, a girl falls in love with a girl... it's natural... you don't have to lick vagina or suck dick all the time, when it comes down to it... it really is what's inside that counts. Do what I do.
What am I, if I have no shadow.
What is the mind without the heart?
I think my head's gonna explode. Don't know whether I just drank too much last night, whether... something didn't agree with me... or whether I just feel so fucking helpless. Last night I got hopes built up and thought, at least someone finds me attractive, but I feel so humiliated that everyone I kiss or do stuff with gets really embarrased about it, like it's a shameful thing. It's fucking humiliating you know?
Do we really live in a world where your reputation means more to you than your heart?
Being a slut has it's downsides.
I actually nearly died a bit inside, you know when your heart sinks. Humiliation.
But there's no point feeling sorry for myself,I don't even know why I'm pissed off.
I smell like arse, fags and cointreau, I'm so attractive, it's disgusting.
Yeah anyway, back to my main point.
Do we really live in a world where you do stuff, because you don't want people's opinions to change of you?
If you do stuff, the people who judge you are the ones who aren't healthy for you. I just wish some people would grow up. You don't have to be loved by everyone, just be yourself... people will respect you so much more.
Infinity.
Love is beyond every single human being, love is something that we can never reach. It is beyond comprehension... like infinity, it is everything and nothing, and it’s what we believe in and what we live for. No matter how hard you try and avoid love, this mysterious force, it will find you. Love finds you. I’m so desperate for you, whatever form you’re in, whoever’s body you’re hiding in, you always say we’re done when we’re not started.
Friends may come, and they may go.
I feel like such a dick now, I feel like I've ruined your life forever.
ERYTJGHDBNSA HHDSSFjd isdfhdfihdfhisudh dihsiufh sUhih iudsfhi HFIUHiuh IU HiuH DSAH ih!
You know when you're in one of those moods where you just wanna type jibberish, because you have all these emotions of guilt, anger and other feelings that you're not sure of. I'm not sure some of the emotions I'm feeling right now have a name but 'ergh, why?' probably sums it up the most. Why does everything have to get fucked up. I don't want to go out with you? I never did. I don't want to be outcast again, because I'm not what you thought I was.
I'm the same person as I was before, I just, I just feel like so much shit right now. I'm sorry for being stupid, I'm sorry for not telling you, I'm sorry for ruining our friendship, I'm just sorry.
Your perceptions of me must have changed so much, I know it's all smiles on the outside but I can tell that in your head, you want to hold your head in your hands and be sick and forget all memories that I existed. People say live with no regrets, but everyone has regrets. You must feel so stupid, I feel stupid. So many people must be kicking themselves right now. I don't think I can say sorry enough, I just want it to be the same as it was before, because nothing's changed.
I guess I'm too much of a pussy or too 'gay' to say this to your face but you know... some mistakes are too fun to only make once, I'm going to smile because it happened, not cry because it's over.
And there will be heartaches and pains
But through it all, we will remain
In this life, we all know
Friends may come, and they may go
But through it all, we will remain
In this life, we all know
Friends may come, and they may go
Oh deeeeear.
Thoughts of you warm my bones.
I'm on my way, I'm on the phone
lets get lost, me and you
an ocean and a rock is nothing to me.
What a balls up, eh?
You make my dreams come true (L)
What I want, you've got
And it might be hard to handle
But like the flame that burns the candle
The candle feeds the flame
What I've got's full stock of thoughts
and dreams that scatter
You pull them all together
And how, I can't explain
But You make my dreams come true
On a night when bad dreams become a screamer
When they're messin' with the dreamer
I can laugh it in the face
Twist and shout my way out
And wrap yourself around me
'Cause I ain't the way that you found me
I'll never be the same
'Cause You make my dreams come true
I'm down on the daydream
That sleepwalk should be over by now
I know that You make my dreams come true
And it might be hard to handle
But like the flame that burns the candle
The candle feeds the flame
What I've got's full stock of thoughts
and dreams that scatter
You pull them all together
And how, I can't explain
But You make my dreams come true
On a night when bad dreams become a screamer
When they're messin' with the dreamer
I can laugh it in the face
Twist and shout my way out
And wrap yourself around me
'Cause I ain't the way that you found me
I'll never be the same
'Cause You make my dreams come true
I'm down on the daydream
That sleepwalk should be over by now
I know that You make my dreams come true
I'm trying new blogger styles...
JAMES POTTER FTW
JAMES POTTER FTW
What a slut fest.
Love, I don't need those things
I don't need no ring
I don't need anything
But you with me
'Cause in your company
I feel happy, oh so happy and complete
And it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I...
I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you
Wow, I know how Katy Perry feels.
This feeling is good. GOOD.
Though some girl is pissing me off, let's call her N.
N is in love with J, I knew that... Bad Paul did something bad and upset N, but she also likes.... like so many boys like... A B C D E F G H I I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y and Z, Yeah that's right EVEN Quibblydibbly and Yoghurtface.
Though yeah... bad paul did bad things and N doesn't like me anymore...
She said sorry to me for being stupid, I told her I was sorry too and she said I had noreason to be sorry and that this just confirms that nothing will happen between her and J... but if she IS going to be whorish like that, she can't afford to be in a relationship with someone AND mess around with other boys. So our apologies were over and done with... that was that.
*ONE HOUR AND ABOUT 43 MINUTES LATER*
She texts me telling me that I apparently didn't like J a few weeks ago, which is bullshit. I said I didn't like R before but I like J... she needs to settle down and stop fucking with boys heads before somebody fucks her in the head and she goes mental and has no-one.
A few other girls should learn that I do like you talking about yourself to me, I promise... I learn stuff about you. You learn stuff about you. However, I don't like you to talk AT me about you 24/7. And stop inviting yourself places, if you stopped inviting yourself places you would get invited to more stuff.
For a Catholic school, we have a huge gay/bi community, ironic. I would advise you to put down whatever genitalia you have in your hand, and go for the opposite sex... seriously. It's a curse. However, you can't help it... go whichever way you feel comfortable with.
Bearing in mind that it's not all about penis and vagina, what you feel is so much more, like holding someone... kissing them, lying with them, talking to them, smiling with them, laughing, play fighting... I don't care about sex anymore, I just want to do all the above stuff. Sex is obviously a bonus... but not my top priority. I just wanna get with you again :)
P.S. NEW BLOGGER STYLE? ;)
FIXED
I AM SO HAPPY. I FIXED MY LAPTOP :')
blogger blogger blogger
It's Nasha's party tomorrow/today. I have run out of stuff to say as it's like... 3 o'clock... I'll make sure to talk about something more interesting when I find the time :)
EEE BLOGGER <3 I've missed you babe.
blogger blogger blogger
It's Nasha's party tomorrow/today. I have run out of stuff to say as it's like... 3 o'clock... I'll make sure to talk about something more interesting when I find the time :)
EEE BLOGGER <3 I've missed you babe.
Bad luccck.
Today I got some new shoes, I love them (L)
I showed my new shoes to my parents and put them on the table.
As we all know new shoes on the table is bad luck.
Mick shouted at me and I thought he was joking, so I was just like yeah haha piss off.
But then he got really angry and shouited at me to get them off the table.
He's an atheist, what if bad luck is the only thing people can base their life on.
Bah, I don't know what to think anymore.
I showed my new shoes to my parents and put them on the table.
As we all know new shoes on the table is bad luck.
Mick shouted at me and I thought he was joking, so I was just like yeah haha piss off.
But then he got really angry and shouited at me to get them off the table.
He's an atheist, what if bad luck is the only thing people can base their life on.
Bah, I don't know what to think anymore.
My computer is not letting me go on anything google associated, including blogger, so at the moment I am on my brothers laptop.
He just rang me actually. I'VE FINISHED MY SONG. and I'm going to record it tomorrow, it's gon' be good :)
I didn't think anyone read my blog, it seems Jo Davies and Katie Heath-Whyte do ;)
I am so stressed at the moment, there is a French teacher at our school, she's horrible so I'm allowed to be mean, she has the biggest bum I have ever seen. She is also making me do coursework extra fast. She also told me to revise for the wrong things in my REAL writing exam. I don't like her.
SKINSLOSTHEROESSHAMELESSDESPERATEHOUSEWIVESMISFITSGLEE. <-- that would be an amazing show. I was going to meet up with... an old friend today... but I went off the idea. He makes me feel a bit sick, I'd be happy if he just stepped out of my life completely.
Do you want to see something cool?
ZOMBIES.
1) i i i i i i ( If you can't see it, picture them coming towards the 1)
Oh sam je suis, Je n'aime pas des verts ouefs et jambon.
We're reading Romeo and Juliet in English. It's very fun! Even though Brodie O'Shea kind of annoys me when she's all like "Romeo, ROMEO, drop thy name and... what does this say?"
SHE DID THE PLAY FOR ROMEO AND JULIET. SHE WAS JULIET. She should KNOW what it says :)
i am a creepy little child, at least I don't snigger to myself in my room about... the word analysis said in a different way... Ehe.
I want my blogger back! :'( I tried to extend it as long as I could, but my brothers gonna be back in 5 minutes and want his laptop back.
P.S Why is everyone hooking up for Valentines day? Why am I not!?
ANSWER ME THIS.
Peace! :)
"Peace? I hate the word as I hate all hell and Montagues." - Tybalt from Romeo and Juliet. <3
He just rang me actually. I'VE FINISHED MY SONG. and I'm going to record it tomorrow, it's gon' be good :)
I didn't think anyone read my blog, it seems Jo Davies and Katie Heath-Whyte do ;)
I am so stressed at the moment, there is a French teacher at our school, she's horrible so I'm allowed to be mean, she has the biggest bum I have ever seen. She is also making me do coursework extra fast. She also told me to revise for the wrong things in my REAL writing exam. I don't like her.
SKINSLOSTHEROESSHAMELESSDESPERATEHOUSEWIVESMISFITSGLEE. <-- that would be an amazing show. I was going to meet up with... an old friend today... but I went off the idea. He makes me feel a bit sick, I'd be happy if he just stepped out of my life completely.
Do you want to see something cool?
ZOMBIES.
1) i i i i i i ( If you can't see it, picture them coming towards the 1)
Oh sam je suis, Je n'aime pas des verts ouefs et jambon.
We're reading Romeo and Juliet in English. It's very fun! Even though Brodie O'Shea kind of annoys me when she's all like "Romeo, ROMEO, drop thy name and... what does this say?"
SHE DID THE PLAY FOR ROMEO AND JULIET. SHE WAS JULIET. She should KNOW what it says :)
i am a creepy little child, at least I don't snigger to myself in my room about... the word analysis said in a different way... Ehe.
I want my blogger back! :'( I tried to extend it as long as I could, but my brothers gonna be back in 5 minutes and want his laptop back.
P.S Why is everyone hooking up for Valentines day? Why am I not!?
ANSWER ME THIS.
Peace! :)
"Peace? I hate the word as I hate all hell and Montagues." - Tybalt from Romeo and Juliet. <3
Proper 'eartspill roight 'ere.
Yep,
Which is probably why I liked you
You turned me around in to someone new.
You should feel responsible for my life
My whole life and personality is because of you
I am where I am because of you.
Hey,
Old feelings never die right?
I should have never put up a fight, right? For years.
Do you honestly have no brains to comprehend that maybe... just maybe.. that if you were worth fighting for, crying for, lying for, or breaking for, that maybe I was lying to break through and crying because I don't like fighting?
Love = Hate
Just take me back to the start? Please. Please?
Also, stop giving me dirty looks because you're scared I'm going to rape you, I don't love you. I just don't want you to be with anyone else because I am jealous that I never had that.
Love = Jealousy
We went through a phase of talking again, now it's just reached the point where it's awkward again, like it was in year 8
Me:"Iyt"
You:"Yh U?"
Me:"Yh Iyt."
You:"Kl wuu2?"
Me:"(Thinking about you) Nmmm, u?"
You:"(Thinking about someone other than you) sme."
Me:"(If only you were thinking about me too.)
You:"(If only he was thinking about someone else)
Love = Awkwardness
At the moment I'm either a blank page, or the piece of paper you doodled on in English so so much that there's no space left for anything else.
Love = Kittens.
O HAI BLOGGER.
I'm actually hating on how Parmiters is so attractive. It's like all the attractive kids from primary school went to Parmiters. I'm not being a bumlick, but I would actually date the whole school.
This morning I woke up crying, well with tears in my eyes and my face all red and puffy and tears on the pillow. I slept cried for the first time, I didn't know it was possible. I had such a realistic dream, I won't carry on but something happened to a friend of mine and I was absolutely distraught. I also woke up with the covers perfect folded down to my hips and all of my pillows in a perfect line along my body and my phone in my hand, I was actually quite scared if I am honest, I thought what the hell have I been doing :|
But yeah, it was a really weird experience it, I kind of half wasn't expecting to see Regan (the girl in my dream) at school today. I'm so glad I don't believe in dreams meaning stuff, because if this meant something, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if something happened to her.
Molly's party was so so good, although I stunk of Peach Schnapps the whole day after, I met Alexander Evans, Amy Garrett, Adam Phipps(Properly) and I think that's the whole 'A' department. They're all lovely :)
Helen has Godspell on thursday, friday and saturday. I'm going to see it on thursday. Thursday is 10 minutes away and I'm going with Toni, I'm really excited.
On friday I'm going to the barn to see Jamie Forester and Jamie Rodwell play, it's going to be packed solid! Then on saturday night, I'm going out for dinner for Mairead and Rachel's birthday which should be nice :)
My saturdays have been packed with birthdays and I think I may have spotted some tumbleweed in my wallet. Erm... Erm.. Erm... I think I have a virus on here too, which is annoying. My next blog post should be... soon... but to be honest, I have to be in the mood. Possibly sunday? I love you all blog readers!
This morning I woke up crying, well with tears in my eyes and my face all red and puffy and tears on the pillow. I slept cried for the first time, I didn't know it was possible. I had such a realistic dream, I won't carry on but something happened to a friend of mine and I was absolutely distraught. I also woke up with the covers perfect folded down to my hips and all of my pillows in a perfect line along my body and my phone in my hand, I was actually quite scared if I am honest, I thought what the hell have I been doing :|
But yeah, it was a really weird experience it, I kind of half wasn't expecting to see Regan (the girl in my dream) at school today. I'm so glad I don't believe in dreams meaning stuff, because if this meant something, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if something happened to her.
Molly's party was so so good, although I stunk of Peach Schnapps the whole day after, I met Alexander Evans, Amy Garrett, Adam Phipps(Properly) and I think that's the whole 'A' department. They're all lovely :)
Helen has Godspell on thursday, friday and saturday. I'm going to see it on thursday. Thursday is 10 minutes away and I'm going with Toni, I'm really excited.
On friday I'm going to the barn to see Jamie Forester and Jamie Rodwell play, it's going to be packed solid! Then on saturday night, I'm going out for dinner for Mairead and Rachel's birthday which should be nice :)
My saturdays have been packed with birthdays and I think I may have spotted some tumbleweed in my wallet. Erm... Erm.. Erm... I think I have a virus on here too, which is annoying. My next blog post should be... soon... but to be honest, I have to be in the mood. Possibly sunday? I love you all blog readers!
Burp.
Oh Daniel, girls can be so hard sometimes. I do feel for him. Some girls have no idea that once a boy falls in love, their heart is in their hand and most of the time they tend to kick it around a bit, play with it, before finally squishing it. There is nothing fun about a crushed heart.
Crushed for 4 years.
Crushed for 4 years.
Friends will do! :)
I probably wouldn't have been good enough anyway.
At least I can be completely comfortable with you anyway, now :)
I haven't writen a blog in ages, I've been down.
I don't understand why you're number one (8) WHY DO I HAVE DAPPY IN MY HEAD.
Ball of confusion (8) Oh oh ohhhhh yeah! BALL OF CONFUSION!
I'm upset tonight, why can't I ever fulfil my needs?
My brother does no fucking work in this house. I know I need to stop whining and feeling sorry for myself but I feel so frustrated tonight.
It has just occured to me properly that you know I like you but yet you haven't said anything yet which probably means that you do think I'm a creep. Erghh, I don't know why I like you, I don't really know you. You don't know me, nobody knows either of us. Not really, anyway.
But then again, I can't really speak for you. I feel like I've burst through the comfort zone with everyone except you, why is it so hard? Whywhywhywhywhy? Please tell me.
Ed's party last nice was very nice! I was a pirate!
We were also very entertained by Helen's rendition of 'Uptown Girl' but most people decided that cake was better and escaped. I bummed Katie, not literally of course, it was just awkward and we were in fits.
My brother does no fucking work in this house. I know I need to stop whining and feeling sorry for myself but I feel so frustrated tonight.
It has just occured to me properly that you know I like you but yet you haven't said anything yet which probably means that you do think I'm a creep. Erghh, I don't know why I like you, I don't really know you. You don't know me, nobody knows either of us. Not really, anyway.
But then again, I can't really speak for you. I feel like I've burst through the comfort zone with everyone except you, why is it so hard? Whywhywhywhywhy? Please tell me.
Ed's party last nice was very nice! I was a pirate!
We were also very entertained by Helen's rendition of 'Uptown Girl' but most people decided that cake was better and escaped. I bummed Katie, not literally of course, it was just awkward and we were in fits.
You sad. :(
Lauryn Hill is so amazing, even though she apparently hates white people, I don't care, her music is blooming amazing and she's absolutely beautiful!
Please pick up a bit, I don't want to see you sad.
Please pick up a bit, I don't want to see you sad.
Monk flops.
Gots to get rid of my little belly that McDonalds has given me.
I also wish that my stepdad won't insist on putting the noisiest kettle in the world on when I'm just about to watch Celebrity Big Brother, yes I know, I'm guilty of watching 'that crap', it's a guilty pleasure I must admit.
I don't want to scare you away. Don't let me scare you away.
I also wish that my stepdad won't insist on putting the noisiest kettle in the world on when I'm just about to watch Celebrity Big Brother, yes I know, I'm guilty of watching 'that crap', it's a guilty pleasure I must admit.
I don't want to scare you away. Don't let me scare you away.
Mini Beaver.
I don't want to bother you, and scare you away, so I just write little messages to you that you'll never see.
Britt Love from Mini Viva knows who we are! I hope Frankee does too, she's penggggg.
Yeah BRitt Love posted Helen and I's cover on her twitter and said "Aww Sweet" And I haven't been able to shut up about it :P
I'm so excited, I really want to meet her now. I especially want to meet Frankee Connolly (L) SHE HOTTTT.
I've also finished 'Caught' I quite like it, trying to not sound big headed here is failing, but it's probably my most emotional song.
Britt Love from Mini Viva knows who we are! I hope Frankee does too, she's penggggg.
Yeah BRitt Love posted Helen and I's cover on her twitter and said "Aww Sweet" And I haven't been able to shut up about it :P
I'm so excited, I really want to meet her now. I especially want to meet Frankee Connolly (L) SHE HOTTTT.
I've also finished 'Caught' I quite like it, trying to not sound big headed here is failing, but it's probably my most emotional song.
Late night messages
I'm sorry I didn't mean to put you on the spot. You made me happy, please don't feel guilty.
Zahra and Janelle were trying to make me angry last night and decided to text me lots and lots and Janelle actually called me at one point.
Zahra and Janelle were trying to make me angry last night and decided to text me lots and lots and Janelle actually called me at one point.
Snowpenis.
Remind me not to do my lion impression next time. Please :).
I had a very nice day today, I went out with Jan, Sarah, Alice, Nabi, Nem, Jo and Rachel.
Very pretty. The snow was aswell.
We built a snowman ( I accidentally just typed 'killed' and now I'm laughing :D) well all we did was put two already made balls of snow on top of eachother then couldn't be bothered to make a head as the snow was too crumbly so we put a little lump of snow on top and then Rachel knocked a big hole in it's... neck? So it looked like it had a shelf.
Then Nabi took down Jan which was hilarious and Jan took down Sarah aswell.
Then Sarah, Jan and I went to mcdonalds where I taught them how to eat big mac's and Jan thought I was teaching her how to rape!
I'm writing a new song at the moment it needs a name... It's nearly finished. The name's are either 'Skeleton', 'Caught' or something else interesting. It's Jo's birthday tomorrow so Helen's comign round to mine and then we're walking up to Parmiter's which should be super great.
I think I'll get to know her better before it's just the two of us. Now i have 'Just the two of us' in my head, and I hope you do aswell Nem.
Lips please.
I sleep with three pillows and I sleep on two, I swap the bottom one to the top and then I swap the top one with the one on the side, just incase they get lonely.
I want lipssssss. Not more of my own ones but somebody elses.
I've also lost my capo in my bedroom heap, I'll find it in like 15 minutes by treading on it, I bet!
I just want lips that want my lips, that sounds very creepy and creepy boyish, but I actually don't really understand it myself. Ergh.
I don't know why I decided to make the girl a cat. It was instincitive I suppose.
I'm sorry I left it too late,
I guess I was too nervous of what you'd say.
Of what everyone else would say. Sorry.
"You're too young."
PLAY THE SONG WHILE READING! :)
I'm in a spiritual mood today, I've had two epiphanies in the last couple of days. One is who I really am and one is that I shouldn't be afraid to show it.
I'm going to tell you a quick story of a boy who didn''t have a name, sometimes he felt like Solan and sometimes he felt like Gallard.
Some days he'd wake up and think I cannot believe I felt like Gallard yesterday, that's sickening, others; he'll think he was crazy for thinking he was Solan.
Little did the boy know that he was really neither Gallard nor Solan but someone completely different that didn't have to have a name.
So the boy with no name decided to do everything that he had never done before and decided to make the most of his life, because who cares what people's opinions are whether you're Gallard or Solan, you will find yourself one day whether it be Gallard or Solan or anything you want it to be because being who you really are can lead you to do a lot more stuff than keeping it a secret.
I'm in a spiritual mood today, I've had two epiphanies in the last couple of days. One is who I really am and one is that I shouldn't be afraid to show it.
I'm going to tell you a quick story of a boy who didn''t have a name, sometimes he felt like Solan and sometimes he felt like Gallard.
Some days he'd wake up and think I cannot believe I felt like Gallard yesterday, that's sickening, others; he'll think he was crazy for thinking he was Solan.
Little did the boy know that he was really neither Gallard nor Solan but someone completely different that didn't have to have a name.
So the boy with no name decided to do everything that he had never done before and decided to make the most of his life, because who cares what people's opinions are whether you're Gallard or Solan, you will find yourself one day whether it be Gallard or Solan or anything you want it to be because being who you really are can lead you to do a lot more stuff than keeping it a secret.
